University is supposed to be “the best years of your life,” right? Everyone says you’ll meet your lifelong friends in first year, join societies, go to events, party till sunrise… except maybe that’s not you.

Maybe you don’t like big crowds. Maybe loud house parties make you anxious. Maybe alcohol isn't your thing, or maybe you just hate the idea of forcing small talk in a dark room over bad music.

So here you are — in uni, wanting real connection, but not through the typical routes.

Good news: you can absolutely make friends without ever stepping foot into a party. Real talk? A lot of people feel the same way — they’re just waiting for someone else to say it first.

Here’s your survival guide to building a social life without pretending to love parties.

Start Where You Already Spend Time

You don’t need to add more stuff to your plate. You just need to notice the people who are already orbiting your daily routine.

Think:

• The person who always sits near you in lecture

• The one you exchanged awkward glances with during a group activity

• The guy who’s always in the library at the same time as you

• The girl who commented something relatable on your course Discord

These are your low-key opportunities.

Try:

• “Hey, I always see you here — want to study together next time?”

• “Was that lecture confusing for you too?”

• “I’m trying to make a cheat sheet for the test, wanna build it together?”

Small invitations open real doors — especially for people who also don’t love the party scene.

Use Group Projects as Soft Friendships

We know — group projects can be chaotic. But they’re also a gift in disguise. You're literally assigned to work with people, which means you already have a reason to talk to them.

Don't just submit the slides and dip.

Use the time to:

• Joke about how confusing the brief is

• Offer to start a shared doc and invite people in

• Suggest meeting for coffee or snacks after finishing the work

No need to oversell it. But the best friendships often start with “hey, want to chill for 10 minutes?” after a high-stress team task.

Find Spaces Where Conversation Feels Natural

If parties feel forced, find spaces where talking feels easy — because of a shared goal, interest, or environment.

Try:

• Study rooms or silent co-working meetups

• Book clubs, language exchanges, or film screenings

• Interest-based societies (gaming, debate, niche hobbies)

• Volunteering for events or helping organize something behind the scenes

These spaces attract people who like meaningful conversation. It’s not about being loud or extroverted — it’s about being in places where connection happens by doing things together.

Reach Out Online — Then Make It Real

If talking to strangers IRL is anxiety-inducing, start online. Most uni programs have:

• Facebook groups

• WhatsApp or Discord chats

• Reddit or Telegram threads

You don’t need to drop a “hey I’m lonely” post. You can simply:

• Ask a class-related question

• Share a meme about the latest assignment

• Suggest a casual coffee or group study

Once you break the digital barrier, people are way more open to linking up in real life.

Be the One Who Starts Something Small

You don’t need to host a party to be social. Try initiating something chill and specific:

• “I’m grabbing lunch near campus if anyone wants to join.”

• “Thinking of checking out the new bubble tea spot — want to come?”

• “Anyone want to co-work at the library this afternoon?”

Low-pressure invites are gold. Most people want social connection — they’re just waiting for someone else to make the first move.