How to Make Friends at Uni {Even If You're Shy)
Making friends at university sounds easy in theory. You’re surrounded by thousands of people your age, most of them also new, unsure, and lowkey hoping someone else makes the first move. But once classes start and the schedules kick in, it’s easy to feel like everyone already has a group — and you’re the only one figuring it out late.
Spoiler: you're not late. And you're definitely not alone.
Whether you’re introverted, from out of town, or just not into forced small talk, this guide is built for students who want to make real connections without faking it. Because uni life is better with people who get you — whether that’s one close friend or a full-blown friend group chat named after a bad inside joke.
Accept That Feeling Awkward Is Normal
Before anything else: stop expecting it to feel smooth from the start. Making friends can be weird. It involves putting yourself out there, getting ignored sometimes, clicking with people and sometimes not — and that’s part of the process. You’re not failing if it feels awkward. You’re just human.
Most people are open to making new friends, but everyone is caught up in their own self-conscious bubble. The truth is, everyone is a little nervous, even the loud ones. Don’t let your brain trick you into thinking you missed your window — people are making new friends all the time, even in third or fourth year.
Start With the People Around You
You don’t need to go hunting for friends in every building. Start where you already are. Look at the people sitting next to you in class, those in your dorm or apartment, your lab group, your tutorials, or that one person who’s also awkwardly early every lecture.
Ask questions. Something simple like “Is this the right room?” or “Did you understand that part of the reading?” can break the ice without feeling forced. Most friendships start from repeated small talk that slowly turns into longer conversations. You don’t have to be clever. You just have to be present.
Join Something — Even If It’s Not Your Forever Thing
Clubs, societies, and sports teams exist for more than just CV building. They create regular spaces where people connect naturally, through shared interests or even shared pain (shoutout to everyone who joined a club and had no idea what they signed up for).
You don’t have to go all in or run for president. Just show up. Attend a few meetings. Try different things. Even if you don’t end up loving the club, you might click with one person and grab lunch after. That’s how it starts. It doesn’t matter what you join — it just matters that you put yourself in spaces where conversation happens.
Go to Events (Even Alone)
Uni campuses are full of mixers, meetups, game nights, language exchanges, food festivals, and awkward-but-fun social events. You might think you need a buddy to attend — but going solo can actually make it easier to talk to people.
When you’re alone, you’re more approachable. You’re not in a bubble. You’re more likely to end up chatting with someone else who came alone or a group that’s open to meeting new people. It feels scary, but that short discomfort can lead to real connection. Show up, smile, ask a question, or give someone a compliment. Most people will respond positively.
Make the First Move (Yes, Even If It Feels Weird)
It’s easy to sit back and wait for someone else to initiate. But if you want to meet people, you’ll have to start. Message that classmate and ask if they want to review notes together. Turn to the person next to you and say something about the lecture. Ask someone if they want to grab coffee after the group project ends. It doesn’t have to be intense. Most of the time, all people need is a little opening.
And if it doesn’t click — that’s okay. Not every conversation will turn into a friendship. But every attempt makes the next one easier. Think of it like gym reps for your social muscles.
Look for Your “Type” of People
You don’t need to be friends with everyone. You just need to find your kind of people — those who share your sense of humor, your way of thinking, your interests, or your late-night snack choices. That could be the design kids pulling all-nighters in the studio, the psychology majors debating personality tests, the language nerds practicing at the cafe, or the gamers running LAN nights in the dorm lounge.
If you’re into anime, there’s a club. If you’re into politics, there’s a group chat. If you’re into memes and doing nothing — congrats, you’re already like most students. Find the people who make you feel relaxed and seen. Those are the ones worth sticking with.
Be Patient — But Keep Trying
Some people meet their best friends in week one. Others find them in third year. If it hasn’t happened yet, don’t assume it won’t. Building friendships takes time, and sometimes the best ones grow from slow, casual connections — not instant chemistry.
The key is staying open. Keep putting yourself in places where friendships can happen. Keep making small moves. Say yes to invites, even if you're not 100% sure. Hang around after class a bit longer. Join study groups. Show up consistently. Eventually, you’ll stop feeling like a stranger — and start feeling like you belong.
Use Tech to Stay in the Loop (But Don’t Live There)
Group chats, Discord servers, course forums, and Instagram pages can all help you stay connected. Ask your classmates if there's a study chat. Follow your uni's events page. If you vibe with someone, don’t be afraid to message them after a convo. A quick “Hey, you free to study this week?” goes a long way.
That said, don’t let digital life replace real conversations. Online friends are great, but face-to-face moments build deeper connections. A shared coffee, a late-night walk, or laughing over something random in real life creates the kind of memories that stick.
Want to Make Friends Without Getting Overwhelmed?
If your social life is struggling because lectures and deadlines keep piling up, sometimes the best fix is to free up mental space. That’s where Duetoday AI can help. It’s an AI-powered notepad built for students that records and transcribes your lectures, then turns them into clean study notes, flashcards, and even quizzes. You can also chat with your lectures to clarify confusing parts instead of stressing later. Less time rewatching lectures = more time for living, socializing, and connecting. Try it out — it’s free to start and perfect for students balancing academics and actual life.
FAQ
What if I’m introverted or socially anxious?
Start with one-on-one interactions. Try connecting with one person in class or joining a smaller club. You don’t need to be loud — you just need to be open. Consistency helps people warm up to you over time.
How long does it take to make close friends at uni?
It varies. Some people click instantly. For others, it takes weeks or months. What matters is showing up and giving friendships space to grow. Don’t rush it.
Is it too late to make friends if I’m already in second or third year?
Not at all. Students change programs, move dorms, join new clubs, or come out of their shell at different times. People are always open to meeting new friends — no matter what year you’re in.
